Blogger’s block and regret.

21 May

I’ve been suffering a bit of writer’s block.  Just as much on my blog as in my private creative world.  Joining the BBN has been wonderful for inspiration and motivation to write (everything).  One blog in particular has really struck me in an outstandingly positive way.  Kira at Her New Leaf is a wizard.  Her blog is bright, fun, well written and honest – I am really enjoying exploring her world!  Not only is she entertaining, she’s very helpful.  I’ve been scouring her Primp My Blog focus this week and have been met with a lot of really fun ideas!

One of the things Kira suggests when you’re suffering Blog Block is to get real (the last prompt on the list, for all of you following along at home).  Honesty.  I’m a big fan of honesty.  I’ll bite.  In Kira’s post, she outlined a move she’s really not thrilled with.  I’m going to write about something that’s been eating at me, off and on, for a while.

~*~

I regret leaving Books & Co.

It was the right decision.  My current job is fantastic: dynamic, challenging, fun and it all takes place in one of my favourite places in Prince George (UNBC)!  I do not regret taking this position (or the one that preceded it).  That in mind, I regret that I no longer have a position (of employment) at Books & Co.

I applied to work in Prince George’s favourite independent bookshop after I had left a six-year term at Red Robin (where I worked just about every job available in a restaurant).  And then, after not hearing from my favourite Booksters who ever Bookstered, I applied again.  And again.  I don’t actually remember how many times I took my resume and cover letter downtown, but it was more than three.  (It actually got to the point where I stopped writing what you might call a normal cover letter and took to writing Owen letters why he should hire me.  He may still have one.  Ask him to show it to you.)  I do remember being called for the interview, I remember how nervous I was through the ordeal (I am a terrible interviewee), and I remember spending the weekend between interview and phone call on pins and needles.

Off and on, I flogged books for almost five years.  That was one of the best things I will ever do in my life.  I was surrounded by books; all day, every day.  Café Voltaire (Books & Co.’s symbiont) serves some of the best soup, muffins, scones, sandwiches and coffee in town, and always by the hand of a lovely, smiling barista-type person.  The customers at the bookshop are outstanding; I have met some of the most amazing, and most eclectic people there.  Books & Co. even landed me my first (and only…so far) paid writing gig.  I had the incredible fortune, for the last year of my employment, of (ghost) writing the weekly Upcoming Events email, spearheading and managing the Books & Co. Twitter account, admining the Facebook fanpage and creating and updating the blog.  That was an amazing opportunity.  All that and I forged a new family at Books & Co.  I have had jobs where I got along well with co-workers, but nothing could have prepared me for the calibre of relationship I would be confronted with at Books & Co.  These were not mere “work buddies.”  The people I worked with are family.  That is what I miss.

Leaving Books & Co. was like growing up.  Entering adulthood.  I’d been told that my position at the bookstore was a “student job.”  That, in effect, I was better than a just-above-minimum-wage job.  I take offence to that.  I was (mostly) happy at Books & Co.  I knew books, I loved to learn books, I dealt with very cool people and I ate some of the best café food inPrince George(at a discount).  It jarred me to be told that what I was doing wasn’t good enough.  It bothers me less today than it did then, but it still eats at me.  Alas, all good things must come to an end.

I threw in the Bookster towel a year ago this past December.  I held on to the writing a little longer, finally giving it up the following September (last September).  The latter was more difficult than the former.  It wasn’t only that I was able to do what I love and get paid for it (in book credit), it was the last thread I had connecting me to my beloved bookstore.

So it goes.

I regret leaving Books & Co., but I no longer mourn the loss.  As I said, I have a fantastic job now.  My life is better today than it has ever been.  As with most things, I remember the good more vehemently than I ever will the bad.  There was bad, there’s always bad, but the good is always more important to focus on.

Despite my regret, I am happy that I resigned my positions with Books & Co.  When I did so initially I did so for the right reason: transition and growth.  Change is good.  When I left Books & Co. a storm was on the periphery.  I regret leaving the shop because I worry.  I am not an omniscient being and my talents are few, but I was valuable and I could have held an umbrella.

The times they are a-changin’.

Kansas – Carry On Wayward Son

UNT.

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14 Responses to “Blogger’s block and regret.”

  1. shainalongstreet May 21, 2012 at 7:45 pm #

    Love the honesty and realness of this post. 🙂 And its cool to read about a city I know…My father used to live in Vanderhoof and my best friend is from Prince. Last time I was there was in 2010, but its one of my favorite Northern cities. 🙂

    • vyxen May 21, 2012 at 7:49 pm #

      Hey! That’s really cool! 🙂

      It is a great, great city. I love The Peeg a lot. 🙂

      Thank you, so much, for stopping by and commenting – you made my night! 🙂

  2. Beau May 22, 2012 at 7:02 am #

    “These were not mere “work buddies.” The people I worked with are family.”

    Very important, especially if you need an emergency blood transfusion.

  3. Stephany (@stephanywrites) May 22, 2012 at 7:42 am #

    Growing up is hard, especially leaving a place that obviously fulfilled your passions. It’s one of the things I don’t really like about adulthood. 😉 But it seems like the change was necessary and good for you. It’s awesome you had such a great work experience and was able to do so much fun things at that job. Sounds like something right up MY alley! Heh.

    • vyxen May 22, 2012 at 2:43 pm #

      Yes. Adulthood is such fun…. (I suppose there are many great things, but some of the things you have to leave behind make me a little sad.) But! I still visit a few times a month and the café is a great place to set up and write in (and they make a mean chai latté), so I still get to hang out (where everyone knows my name).

      It was an amazing job! If you ever have the opportunity to work in an independent bookshop, take it. You will not be disappointed. (I think chain/franchise bookstores are fun too, I’ve just never worked in one.)

      Thanks so much for reading and commenting Stephany – awesome to see you!

  4. Jennifer M. May 22, 2012 at 7:26 pm #

    I can so relate to this. My favorite job ever was when I was in undergrad. I worked a student job at the library doing a bazillion things. My favorite task was mending old books – they have a certain smell that is so intoxicating.

    When I graduated I was no longer eligible to work there, so it’s not like I quit, but I still miss it. I didn’t make much more than minimum wage, either, but of all the jobs I’ve had since, that one will always be my favorite. I loved seeing the new books come in, browsing the old books; books, books, books, everywhere.

    Maybe you couldn’t stay at that job, but maybe you were destined for something similar. Maybe a Master’s in Library Science? Or you could run an vintage bookstore. Anyone that loves books as much as you seem to should try to keep pursuing that.

    • vyxen May 22, 2012 at 10:02 pm #

      I want to write one. Heh. Lofty goal, perhaps unattainable, but it keeps me going.

      How about you?! You seem to be in the same boat I am with the undeniable love for books – were you able to get yourself into a book flogging career? 🙂 (I do still work in a bookstore, but it’s a university bookstore. It’s fun, but selling textbooks has nothing on where I used to get paid to hang out.)

      Thanks for the awesome comment, Jennifer – I always love to meet a fellow Bookster. 🙂

  5. Alyx Garner (@adodds) May 27, 2012 at 11:41 pm #

    I love Kansas, and that’s one of my favorite songs by them. I do love the honesty in this post, too!
    And changes can be hard, but I love that you embrace your decision and are happy with it, even though you have a bit of regret!
    Good post. 🙂

    • vyxen May 28, 2012 at 1:14 pm #

      Awh, thank you! 🙂 I really appreciate that.

      Heh. Supernatural definitely colours my reaction to that tune (now), but it is one of my very favourites from Kansas (great, great band – yes)!

      Thanks so much for stopping by Alyx! (I’m not sure if you get updates on comment replies, but I need to tell you, again, how much I freaking love your blog. Blogs. I was looking at your shop today – VERY interested in that. Very. It’s super exciting to me that you stopped by! 🙂 Thanks again!)

  6. Shannon @ Polish and Sugar June 8, 2012 at 5:28 pm #

    Oh sometimes I have the worst writer’s block, and it shows in the terrible posts that go up. And then all of a sudden out of nowhere I have this urge to write a bunch of posts at once. It’s so strange.

    • Kim June 8, 2012 at 11:29 pm #

      I hear you. I can go on weeks (sometimes months) of absolutely nothing and then BAM! six pieces at once. It gets A BIT irritating. But . . . at least there’s writing? 🙂

  7. Sara K {SaigeWisdom} June 16, 2012 at 9:00 pm #

    this post makes me miss P.G. – I loved Books & Co. (and Red Robin and UNBC)

    • Kim June 16, 2012 at 9:18 pm #

      Oh! I used to work at Red Robin, too! That was a fun job. 🙂 (And currently work at UNBC – very strange.) Awh – well, you’ll have to stop by all of these places when you next visit The Peeg! 🙂

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