Sante Fe.

Those of you who know me know that I am an absolute whore for surveys.  I stumbled across this meme-survey-thing on this wonderful blog (I adore Twitter, it’s introducing me to so much talent!).  Couldn’t resist!

1. What’s the last thing you wrote? What’s the first thing you wrote that you still have?
The last thing I wrote was a reply for a RPG on The Northlands.  I’m not sure if that counts, though, so I’ll add that I recently completed a (very very very late) birthday present for the Sethster (he just turned one, he will forgive me!).

The first thing I wrote that I still have?  Wow.  I still have many, many old journals from when I was in the primary grades of elementary school.  As far as stories are concerned, the oldest piece I still have was about a sea monster.  I remember, several years ago, being struck by how not-terrible I thought it was (and I’m hard on my writing “skill”).

2. Write poetry?
Not even to save my life.

3. Angsty poetry?
No.  Because I don’t write poetry.  If I did, I would, for sure, make it angsty, though.

4. Favorite genre of writing?
Urban fantasy.

5. Most annoying character you’ve ever created?
The lovely Ms. Arkyn.  I love her so dearly, she’s my absolute favourite, but man, oh man, is she impossible to write!

6. Best plot you’ve ever created?
The, still unwritten (on paper, anyway), Cell Phone Story.

7. Coolest plot twist you’ve ever created?
Oh oh oh!  Nope.  When it’s done, I’ll let you know!

8. How often do you get writer’s block?
Well, I think that my affinity for procrastination hinders my writing ability and is almost 99% attributable to my lack of productivity.  But.  I do suffer writer’s block.  K‘s prompts are good for getting out of slumps, though!

9. Write fan fiction?
Only once.  If you can believe it, I can’t even remember the name of the book I wrote for.  (Of course I can’t find the book through a Google search and I can’t find the piece I wrote.  I think that means it doesn’t exist and I am going crazy.  Yes.  Going.)

10. Do you type or write by hand?
I type.  I do have an addiction to notebooks and tend to jot notes down in them, but when I’m serious about getting something written, it’s typed.

11. Do you save everything you write?
Yes.  Speaking of, I really need to throw some new things on the ol’ save-my-life-stick.

12. Do you ever go back to an idea after you’ve abandoned it?
Oh yes.  I have many pages of notebooks devoted to bits and pieces of ideas.  They often evolve and rarely are finished the way they were conceived.

13. What’s your favorite thing you’ve written?
Ever?  I’m a big fan of the niblet of a back story I started for a character from a RPG I am (heavily) involved in.  It’s not actually finished, but I love the character and I love the way the story was beginning to sound.  It’s something I really need to sit down and complete.

14. What’s everyone else’s favourite story that you’ve written?
Always.

15. Ever written romance or angsty teen drama?
Yes!

16. What’s your favourite setting for your characters?
This world, with a twist.  A re-imagined here and now.  With mountains and snow.  (Which is actually here and now.)

17. How many writing projects are you working on right now?
Not as many as I should be.  I have a book review forming, a piece about the happiest place on Earth, and a few short stories I’d like to actually get written.  Oh!  There’s also an assignment for a writing group I’m (re) joining!  Okay, so I have more writing projects than I’d thought.  I just need to beat that nasty procrastination beast.

18. Have you ever won an award for your writing?
Hah.  No.

19. What are your five favourite words?
Fox, plethora, cunt (I’m sorry, but it’s true), grim, and . . . I have no idea!  I don’t have a list of favourite words.  I’ll scribble something down when I think of it.  Scribble, though.  That’s  a great word.

20. What character have you created that is most like yourself?
Aislin.  She’s shy and has limited self-confidence.  I miss writing her.

21. Where do you get ideas for your characters?
I just . . . get them.  They appear.

22. Do you ever write based on your dreams?
Never once.  This is funny considering the one dream I’ve had that always stands out was about vampires (I was in high school – I watched a lot of Buffy), and that’s how Stephenie Meyer conceived of the Twilight Saga.  I should’ve written vampire books!  Damnit.

23. Do you favour happy endings, sad endings or cliff-hangers?
I like sad endings, actually.  They make me think a great deal more than happy endings do.  (Don’t get me wrong, I dig a good happy ending, too!  A place for everything, and everything in it’s place.)  I don’t like cliff-hangers, though.  They make me frustrated.

24. Are you concerned with spelling and grammar as you write?
Very.

25. Does music help you write?
Oh for sure!  Most of what I write is composed to Apolcalyptica!

26. Quote something you’ve written. Whatever pops into your head.
A pause.  Thoughtful.  “You got the scythe?”  One last bit of urban myth to catch up on.  I didn’t have much time left, I figured, and this was one of those need-to-know kinds of deals.

Another smile, “it’s in the trunk of the car.  October seems to be the only acceptable time for that sort of thing anymore,” accompanied by a shrug.

The cool cats from Grease 2 – Who’s That Guy?

UNT.

A sense of self.

“Do you have a fox?”

Before I entered the shop on Wednesday morning, I knew I would be asked about my choice.  Admittedly, I hadn’t thought that would be the question asked, but I wagered curiosity would be present.  I would be curious.  (Of course this is no surprise, my fatal flaw is curiosity.  It will get me killed some day.  But, at least I’ll learn something the moment before I enter into eternity.)  I thought, for some time, about how I would answer the impending question.

Why did I choose a fox?

On Wednesday morning I was inked for the first time.  I have been (seriously) thinking about tattoos and their role in my life for some nine years, now.  I had considered celtic knots, symbols that reminded me of my family, and wise words from the ages.  The obvious choice, the right choice, hadn’t factored into it until relatively recently.

Fox.

I won’t be so pompous as to say that Fox is my power animal.  I don’t have a deep spiritual belief, so I won’t let myself off of a hook that easily.  That being said, foxes are enormously important to me.  They are my favourite animal.  They have my utmost respect and awe.  Into so many aspects of my life I have weaved fox characteristics.  From the choice of “vyxen” as a typical handle (though, I admit, that’s for the definition of “a woman regarded as quarrelsome, shrewish, or malicious.”  But it is very pleasing to know that the term for female fox fits so well into my personality) to my elation at sporting the auburn locks associated to Vulpes vulpes.

It is the way they look, the way they move, the sounds they make.  It is their appearance in folk lore, and descriptions therein.  It is the wonder I feel as I look upon them; I am moved, and I am awed at the sight of a fox.

My friends and family who have seen the tattoo have been most complimentary.  They have lauded Shawn endlessly (and rightfully), and a vast majority of them have said something to the effect of “that is perfect for you!”  I may not know exactly how to explain why Fox was my choice, but it is apparent that it was the correct choice.  They are a part of my life.  And now?  Now I am closer to foxes than I have been in my life.  I carry that symbol with me.  I will forever be reminded of their role in my development and their lessons in my life.

I have a fox, now.  (Thank you, Shawn.)

I have been waiting, most impatiently, to write a blog about tattoos (re-inspired when Kendra wrote her piece).  I feel very strongly about them.  There is no place in my life for a tattoo that is meaningless.  This, I believe, is part of the reason it has taken me this long to get a tattoo.  There was nothing in my life that was terribly important to me.  I had to be in the right place in my life.  I have walked a rocky path, I am still avoiding some potholes and tripping over others, and parts of my psyche are becoming more solid.  This is one of those parts.  And?  A fitting artist had not entered my life before.  Not until I worked the bookstore gig was I able to meet someone I thought might be able to handle the challenge.  I was more than right, and more than pleasantly surprised (this, of course, is not to say that I doubted Shawn and his ability.  But, I was nervous – rightly so, I figure!  It’s permanent!).

I had a conversation, a few months back, about tattoos with a very dear friend of mine.  We chatted about the importance of the artist.  The artist is almost more important than the design.  This is someone you have to trust a great deal.  If your hairdresser musses a cut, your hair will grow back.  If your tattoo artist musses your vision, you pay a great deal more money and go through a great deal more pain to remove what they’ve done – or get another piece to cover the offending one.  It is an intimate affair, having ink driven into your skin.  (A relationship between a sadist and a masochist, for sure.)  I chose very well.  I chose a Master.

I feel more complete.  Is that strange?  I feel more like me, now.  (My only hope, now, is that I don’t louse up my after-care responsibility.  It’s such a beautiful piece of art, I would hate to be the one to ruin it.  Keep your fingers crossed for me, kids.)

Apocalyptica (Featuring Linda Sundblad) – Faraway Vol. 2

UNT.

Excuses, excuses.

Oh look, another nifty fad that I had to join!

K is correct, I think, in that this is a lovely way to promote blogging and to keep people writing consistently.  Or, at least, it is a good way to plant an idea into the mind of a blogger.

It has been discussed that lifestreaming is overtaking blogging.  I am not fond of this theory, though I believe it.  I, myself, am a slave to Facebook and am becoming quite enamoured of Twitter, so I do completely understand.  I am not, however, interested in giving up my blog.  (Which is pretty difficult to believe given how little I’ve posted here, recently.  I would like to blame stress, and the fact that it is summer and life always gets a bit more busy in the summer.  I like excuses.)  Which is where the concept of this NaBloPoMo thingamawhatsit is attractive.  I will not post daily, I know this about myself.  I will strive to, and I may every once in a while, but I am not a daily writer, let alone blogger.  But.  It seems a decent enough prod for inspiration to pick up the pen, so to speak, so we’ll give ‘er a go.

Speaking of writing.  In the chapter “The Goody Two-Shoes Nature” of the book Writing Down the Bones Natalie Goldberg mentions something interesting:

Some people hear the rule “Write every day” and do it and don’t improve.  They are just being dutiful.  That is the way of the Goody Two-shoes.  It is a waste of energy because it takes tremendous effort to just follow the rules if your heart isn’t into it.  If you find that this is your basic attitude, then stop writing.  Stay away from it for a week or a year.  Wait until you are hungry to say something, until there is an aching in you to speak.  Then come back.

This is how I had been doing my “daily writing.”  I would love to be inspired to write with flare, but I was not.  I wrote, but it was out of duty, not passion.  So.  I stopped.  I have not started again (creatively), yet.  I will, but I need to give it some more time.  This is why I will not push myself to blog daily, but hope that I can at the same time.  I do not want to fall into the trap of writing for the sake of writing, again.  I feel that just knowing that I was doing that is half the battle, and now I am armed with weapons to combat that problem!

Happy NaBloPoMo, bloggers.  Try it out!  Oh.  And if you do, add me to your friends list so I can keep up!

The Airborne Toxic Event – Happiness is Overrated

UNT.

Emotion.

Artists, as a stereotype, create their most amazing, and influencial, pieces while in the lowest part of depression (also while heavily involved in laudanum consumption).  Happiness, I have observed, is also characteristic in producing something breathtaking.

What about anger?

I am a touch upset, now, because the anger I was going to speak of, that inspired this thought, has almost completely dissipated.  What is remaining is mere frustration and a musing sense of “whiskey tango foxtrot.”

I digress.

What about anger?  I have a temper (I inherited it from my Dad – he has very impressive anger), when it’s good it’s bad and when it’s bad it’s frightening (I have been told).  I sport auburn locks, that’s pseudo-redhead and a very good excuse to have the temper I mentioned.  There is no other feeling, for me, that pumps my adrenaline quite in the same manner as anger.  (Fear comes close, but spiders are hardly blog material.)

The feeling, itself, is no more inspirational than delight or despair.  It all comes back to perspective (no one can arrogantly advertise my blog the way I can!).  How you see the world.  I am prone to reading horror novels, watching drama and thriller themed movies and television; I tend to appreciate the villain more than the hero.  Anger affects me.  When my blood is boiling, my imagination is rolling.  I admit, sometimes writing what, exactly, is rolling along in that imagination would result in my institutionalization.  Of course, I also have to admit that, most of the time, I should not be allowed to write when I am angry (unless I am observing my reaction to that anger).  When I do I am either very uncomplimentary, or very basic and without any finesse.  (It’s a damn shame.)

It’s like those visceral reactions I spoke about earlier.  Reading, or viewing, something that leaves you feeling the way you felt when you approached it makes it unimpressive.  Reading, or viewing, something that leaves you charged with some manner of emotion (pick a range, any range) makes it a bit more impressive.  I should think that when creating something that leaves an observer writhing in whatever emotional state they choose an artist was also feeling something.  I suspect that “blah” inspires “blah.”

Let’s end with a question.  When you find yourself most inspired, are you feeling something strongly?  An emotional response to some stimulus in your life?

David Cook – Life On The Moon

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